APRIL 28, 2014 MONDAY MORNING
Hi, Honey Bun. It is morning again. I know I dreamed a massive amount of new dreams. You and I were both in most of them together. There was water, flooding, animals of different kinds playing with each other, I huge dog playing with a bear amongst all the other animals, cats, people.
A Praying Mantis! This one was crawling on my hand, a full grown insect, and I was trying to take it outside so that it would not accidentally get hurt inside with people moving around. But it did not want to go outside and got away from me and I lost sight of it.
But what a symbol!
Perhaps it conveys a meaning connected with my revitalized desire to escape from this apartment complex, or more specifically from many of these mean spirited neighbors. Some of the newer ones glare at me as they drive by while I am walking my laps around the compound. I think Raymond and Jan has been increasing the pressure to chase me away by spreading a new onslaught of unsavory rumors about me among his stoop dwelling friends and others who do not spend time at his stoop.
Oh it gets too complicated to quickly transcribe into words here and now. But to wait to say is to take a chance on forgetting to write it. Maybe that's a good thing.
The only reason I brought it up, this Boris and Natasha problem up, was that the idea of praying is so strongly suggested by the symbol of the Praying Mantis. And that is particularly important to me theses days because lately, whether knowingly or not knowingly, willfully or not willfully, these stoop dwellers lately have increased their noisy walks back and forth in front of my windows by orders of magnitude, by several hundreds of percents more than normal lately, while I am at my computers next to the window working on finishing the last leg of our second eBook, Poetry and Sunny Hills: Death and Beyond.
I feel that they are climbing all over me. A prayer is beginning to live on my lip, sometimes taking flight, and always ready, but hesitant at the same time because I don’t really know what to pray for. What does a tiny little creature like me know about the wisdom and plan of God? I don’t want to ask any higher beings for something that, if granted, will do more harm than good. So I am left rather speechless, or prayerless, by virtue of not knowing what I need.
Do I need suffering? Or protection from suffering? All I can see to do is surrender to the will of God or the universe and have faith that everything is as it should be.
I could fight back against the aggression of mean people but I don't want to damage my soul and your love and our spiritual lives with such garbage thoughts and activities. But these vicious people keep pushing, encroaching, subtly harassing, goading me to enter the arena of their self imagined war! And what devious designs do they have in mind? No doubt to frame me in a bad light before the gaze of everyone so that everyone, tenants and police included, will then ramp up the pressure to force me out into the streets or into a jail cell.
I have been in the streets and don't mind too terribly much about ending up there at the sunset of my life, a life which must and will end relatively soon anyway, so any insecurity of homelessness is only fading habit patterns of thought which death will erase for good anyway and soon enough.
The chief concern of this is that I feel much anxiety to finish our swan song, our written legacy which my instincts hint to me that I must do as a karmic duty before I leave this physical realm. So this increased aggression from these enemy neighbors are interfering with my performing that duty.
It is all very complicated and runs roots throughout infinite existence so you can see the difficulties of expressing the reality of it all in words. It is just too vast! It touches too many things, runs too many roots into the infinite reaches of infinite dimensions of reality and includes them all into the so-called causes of any and all aspects of this situation here regarding my relationship with all these neighbors.
A Praying Mantis!
Is that a message to me? And so many different animals playing together. Am I to meditate on the story of Noah's Ark?
I love you, Honey Bun. Thank goodness we don't have to live in physical mode forever!
See you soon.
